When I’m older and can actually afford to have a St. Bernard, I will name him Appa and he will answer when I shout “yip, yip”. I’ll look like a crazy man. No fucks are available at this time, please try again later.
If I was a student at Hogwarts I’d use Howlers to send nice messages to people.
So you’d be sitting there in the Great Hall eating breakfast when an owl drops a Howler in front of you. You, and everyone else on your table, just stares at it as it trembles, explodes open, shrieks I WANT TO TOUCH YOUR SWEET BUTT and then dissolves into flames.